Oh, it’s ambulatory!


*image may not represent actual reality.


What is the only upside of having a health issue? Is having one that can be fixed! If there is a solution, a simple one, everything should be fine. That’s what the doctor told me, that arrogant fuck. I don’t know what is with doctors, maybe this god-complex or whatever they call it but, in my experience, me and them, we do not get along. Maybe we have the same type of arrogance that clashes or maybe i just bring out the asshole in them. Either way, it isn’t easy.
I had an appointment a week ago and turns out, i need to have surgery done. I don’t like hospitals, i’ve said this before and the feeling hasn’t changed. I don’t like hospitals. So, i’m sitting there and the doc keeps talking, using terms that i have no idea what they mean but i keep shaking my head like i actually understand anything this God-given awful specimen planted in this hospital is saying. By now, a lady doctor has joined in and she does the talking while Doc Asshole looks me straight in the eye. I have no idea what he’s planning but i’m already shaken up just by being in this horrible place, he doesn’t need to stare me down to intimidate me, this fucking hospital does the job.
They throw words around like i am supposed to know what they fucking mean. I’m, like, 2 seconds away from having a mental breakdown because these horrible green walls keep getting closer and closer and this fucking ammonia-like smell in the air keeps stinging my eyes and now it seems like i am crying but i’m really not and it is just that i don’t really like hospitals and now lady doctor asks me if i need anything explained to me and yes lady, i do! How about you explain everything again but now in a language normal people understand? How about that? I am starting to dislike you too, lady doctor.
It is very simple really, nothing to worry about, Doc Asshole says. Man, fuck you! I’m gonna be asleep while you fucks literally just open me up and shit. You might sneeze while you operate and whatever and now i have your germs somewhere between my liver and kidney and for you fucks it is just another Thursday. So no, you’re wrong and i should worry. And then he says “ambulatory” like i’m supposed to fucking know what that means. Man, i don’t have this doctor lingo shit down. I have no idea what that means. Be specific, say whatever the fuck you mean, i’m getting stressed.
“Oh, we mean you’re able to get out on the same day. In and out, just like that” You sadistic fucks. I’m here about to jump the window behind me because i have this clear notion that this building is about to crush me and you keep saying shit like “ambulatory surgery” and “torsion repair” like everyone knows what the fuck it is supposed to mean, while all along you just had to say “listen, don’t stress it. in and out in a jiffy, very simple”.
Fuck you people, don’t you read my blog?! I HATE HOSPITALS !!!

Santiago Roque

Author: santiago roque

I can predict the future. If given the right topic. Often confusing, i am mostly me on emotional steroids.

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