All on her.

Her name was Elisabeth. Or Elizabeth. I don’t know how to spell it right but the first girl that dumped me and it mattered was her. Some people called her Liz, others Beth, i just called her Elisabeth/Elizabeth. I don’t know how 14 year old me ended up in a “relationship” with her but it lasted for 3, maybe 4 weeks. We went to an international school so we had people from everywhere there.  She was this cool girl, very british and slightly awkward. I never met her father but her mother was very nice too. I have no idea what they did but now i guess they were sort of diplomats or something similar.

She just broke it off one day. She just said it, pretty clear: “It’s over, okay? But it was so nice to know you, really”. And that was it. Not long after that, she was already with someone else. The part that crushed me wasn’t the fact that she broke up with me, no, that part i could handle. I don’t think i ever did like her like that anyway. But being traded for another person, well that got 14 year old me crushed. I was begining to feel like i was this hella cute, charming, all-around nice fellow. And that break-up almost broke me. I really felt betrayed, like we had something real between us and yet, i don’t think i really liked her. But just the same. She, along with a perfectly timed advise, was the starting point that mold me into becoming this laid back, confident, “don’t give a fuck” type of guy. The slight arrogance came with it.

The next year i started a new school so i lost track of her. Which is regretful because i wanted the new me to have a go at her. To break her a little bit to be honest. What can i say, i was resentful back then! Luckily for her and me too, i guess, i never saw her again. Somewhere, there is a girl that, unbeknownst to her, helped mold my personality when i was just a small boy by breaking up with me. It gave me the nerve that i lacked.

More people came, i had my break-ups but none mattered as much as that one. It was the last time sweet boy version of me had any interaction. I became someone else, thankfully. I guess, part of me was always supposed to be this laid back, no stress, arrogant to a point kind of guy. She just helped accelerate the process.

I’ve had bad break ups, good break ups. There was yelling, crying, laughing… I had someone break up with me because of my music preferences, go figure!

But that girl, that first one almost got me. So, if any of my bad break ups end up reading this, you should thank Elisabeth/Elizabeth for anything mean i might have said or done. It’s all on her, i tell you!

And maybe, just a little bit on me too!

Santiago Roque

Author: santiago roque

I can predict the future. If given the right topic. Often confusing, i am mostly me on emotional steroids.

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