A tradition that gets kinder every year.

Warning: It is still November, but this one is Christmas related. So walk away if you’re grinch-y. I’ve warned you.


I am or was very much about Christmas traditions. I like(d) to influence people with my Christmas jolly ness. To the point where people might become a bit nauseous around me. But who cared?

Every year i had to buy a Christmas CD, just to jump-start this Christmas economy. We have to care about such things. So, if you had the pleasure of driving somewhere with me, you’d listen to the best covers of Christmas classics such as “Midnight Sleighride” by Sauter-Finegan Orchestra, “‘O Tannenbaum’” by Vince Guaraldi Trio or “Where are you Christmas?” by One Voice Children’s Choir. You know, the absolute essential for €1.99.

I tell you right now, if you’re one of those that feel “OMG, hate deez songz, not even x-mas yet” type of people, fuck off. Just a gentle fuck off because i’m feeling Christmas-y.

Music was one thing, we got that out of the way. The other tradition that i started (and still maintain) with my then girlfriend was chocolate advent calendars. Those things are perfect for the season. The thing is, it is the type of tradition that accumulates people easily. So last year, i had to buy for about 7 people. I added my father in law because he kept eating the one i bought for my sister-in-law and started to cause friction between the two. No worries, always one to resolve things, i added him to the list. We’re Christmas buddies now.


However, i’m serious about this. So if the idea is to eat one per day, from December 1st to December 25th, i won’t accept that you don’t do it properly. I’ve warned my wife, either you do it the right way or out the list you go! I ain’t playing around! Last year, mid-January and still chocolates in the box?! You’re pushing it. I can’t tolerate this shit. So i’ve told her and the look she gave me said it all. I’ll keep buying it…

But then you have a problem with brands. There a wide variety available. Very cheap too. Which is great when you’ve added almost 10 people to the list. But i began with Kinder, like the top of tops concerning chocolate advent calendars on a budget. It’s 8.99 or whatever. Not too much when you offer 2 or so. When you must offer 7, then you have a deeper issue. But last year, Kinder decided to be solidary with me and you couldn’t find it anywhere. I know, i tried everyplace. I even drove a little bit out of my route to get it. But no, Kinder didn’t cared for my tradition which was a blessing in disguise. Phew..


But yesterday i got a text with a picture saying: guess what? kinder is back with it. I fucking lost it. Will i have to spend that much money to get them this particular Kinder chocolate advent calendar? Fuck yeah, i will! Don’t even care. And let me tell you, if i go there to buy it and that awful Mariah Carey song is blasting through the supermarket speakers, i might just lose it and buy the full stock. That’s right, i will fucking jump-start this Christmas economy all by myself. That’s how Christmas-y i already feel.

I am all about traditions. It gets me in trouble sometimes.

Merry Christmas ?

Santiago Roque

Author: santiago roque

I can predict the future. If given the right topic. Often confusing, i am mostly me on emotional steroids.

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