Right now, at this very moment, i’m sitting at this hipster-like sort of coffee shop writing on a Mac. I’m slowly becoming one of them, one of those perpetually tortured souls that linger between the adult world and whatever world they live in. Shit. I think this is the result of having too much latte in me. Latte? My father would disown me for the use of the word alone! Any day now, i’ll find myself listening to the lumineers or bon iver without socks on. Baby Jesus, i need to man up. Quick!
I’m pretty sure this is the result of certain influences. Quoting a lil’ thing called “The Bible” (yeah, that’s right, i’m using the big guns now):
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” .
– 1 Corinthians 15:33
I like the fact that i can just look it up online anytime it suits me. All hail GOOGLE.
So, as per the Bible, bad company has corrupted my good character. I would never frequent such places. I dread the day i find myself using crocs. Even worse, with socks on! That’s actually what gets to me. Those fucks wear no socks at all, they show up with them Oxford shoes and way too short trousers from 1824 but as soon as they want to wear crocs, they are reminded that socks exist. Fuck you people. Fuck you and your overgrown yet perfectly maintained beards. Which i like, if i’m being honest but that’s beside the point. Fuck you.
Did i wake up today with a vendetta against hipsters? Well, maybe i did. The urban dictionary tells me that “hipsters are a subculture of American consumer for whom the idea behind the marketing holds more value than the product being marketed”. I’d just remove the american part as theses douchebags seem to be everywhere.
#2 definition of a hipster:
Hipsters are people who try too hard to be different (and genuinely do think that they’re being different), by rejecting anything they deem to be too popular.
Ironically, so many other people also try too hard to be different that they all wind up being the exact same, so hipsters aren’t actually different at all, they’re just people who are snobbier and more annoying about their taste in “alternative” things, which are all popular now thanks to the other hipsters.
Haha. Whoever wrote this has a unique vindictive vein against hipsters. As one might expect. They even use the example of Mumford and sons. I don’t like them very much too. I mean, i’m not a fan. Did you know that only one of them is named Mumford and the others are not his sons? Did you? The lying bastards. They also say they are multi-instrumentalists and play drums but do they really? I don’t think drums is a thing for them. Tapping your foot on the floor or knocking on your banjo doesn’t really qualify as drumming. Shit, im rambling about Mumford and sons. That is not the way to start the day.
Anyway, i wanted to say that bad influence led me here. This world where lattes flow and masala brew is a name for coffee and not just a way to cook chicken. Fucked up, i know.