There is a song that goes like:
“I used to drink whiskey, now I’m stuck with Perrier
I’m an alcoholic, middle fingers in the air”
It doesn’t really apply to me, i just like the fact that the guy likes his whisky but now he’s stuck with water. I, too, like whisky but haven’t drank it in a while. In fact, exception made to the occasional beer or wine glass, i barely drink alcohol anymore. I don’t necessarily miss it nor did i feel like i couldn’t handle my share of alcohol. I just stopped.
I mean, sure, who doesn’t get wasted and tries to fight a whole bar? Or goes out and blows a shitload of money on high-end whisky when already drunk? Come on, throw the first stone who never! Right? But time comes when a man must say: ” No, i will no longer have that sweet, sweet drip of the divine distilled”. I miss whisky. I miss whisky like you miss a person. If you could buy said person and drink them. Then yes, exactly like that.
I have a thing against those that order whisky and coke. Shit, dude that’s how you fuck up two drinks. Well actually screw coke, i care for the whisky. It’s a gentleman’s drink. Oh, the variety of options! Young or old, on the rocks or straight. Single or double. Sweet baby Jesus, im gonna have myself a little whisky. For good behaviour. I deserved it. Maybe just a little shot. Damn it.
Every year for my birthday, my brother gives me a bottle. Jameson’s which we both like. We usually open it and drink some of it. This year, the bottle remains closed, we didn’t get to open it yet. In fact, i was organizing a trip to Scotland to raid the distilleries but eventually let that idea go when he couldn’t get off work. For a while, i thought about going by myself but nah, another time. I must kilt up and go full Scot for that one so it must take time.
My absolute favorite is Macallan. I buy it every December and every December i finish it. Its expensive compared to my favorite irish but not crazy expensive that i couldn’t buy a case. I just don’t do it because i would drink it faster than recommended. But December is coming and that case may be coming my way. Just so if i feel very christmas-y this year.
I would always recommend Jameson’s for the daily consumption (not literally everyday) and Macallan for that special occasion. But beware, side effects may occur such as:
- Drinking a real drink
- Trying to fight
- Trying to fight a whole bar
- Spending way more than you should when already wasted
- Tongue may become numb by glass number 4
- Tendency to become obnoxiously charming
- Tendency to become obnoxious
- Memories are optional
Rinse and repeat. Fuck it. At least you’ll have a proper glass in hand while every one around you holds one of those balloon glasses used for gin (which, by the way, is not the proper glass but that’s a different story).
Let me leave you with the marvelous words of whisky drinker / part-time writer Mark Twain:
Too much of everything is bad, but too much good whisky is barely enough.
Damn right. Fucking nailed.