I was sitting down, i think. I had this feeling i was waiting for someone. I think i had a book with me or might have been my phone. I was just looking straight ahead, wondering what was i looking for. Across the atrium, someone walks towards me. I have no idea who it is. Maybe it’s coming to sit down and wait for someone too. I don’t know. I get the feeling that hours go by instead of seconds. I feel uneasy, yet calm. Where am i? What is this place?
The person coming towards me carries some files, some documents. I try to take a good look to see if i know this person and i don’t think i do. I mean, there is something familiar about it but i can’t really say what. I see now that it is a lady. She has this thin silhouette, she looks smaller than she actually is and she has this unique scent, this sort of bodycream that one may use to soften the skin. It smells amazing. The lady looks starving, looks like the last meal she had has been months ago. She has a great smile. I know this because as soon as she gets close to me, she stops and smiles the most wide, sincere, heartwarming smile. “Hello” she goes. I say it back out of politeness because i don’t know her. I think she may have me confused with someone else.
“Let’s go?” she says. I don’t know what to say, i feel strange having to tell this lady she has me confused. “Excuse me, i think you have me confused with someone else”. She cocks her head to the side like i’m messing with her and i feel worse. “Are you waiting for someone? Are we waiting for your wife?” It’s getting stranger and i don’t know what to do. “Are you ok? You look confused”. I get up and see how small this lady is. I tower over her, easy. I could embrace her and make her disappear. “Who are you?”, i say as things are starting to become very confusing. And then she says it. She doesn’t tell me her name, she tells me mine.
There is only one person that calls me that name. Doesn’t mind where we are, she rarely uses my real name. As soon as she says it, i know it all. I know why i am here. I know why she looks the way she looks. I know why she smells the way she smells. I know why she smiles the way only she can. Most importantly, i know her. How could i not? How could i not see it? What type of person am i? All this time and i couldn’t recognize her? What is happening to me?
All this time and i never realize who she was up until the moment she said my name. I give her a hug like it’s the last hug we will ever have. I smell her once again and it feels great. I look at her, i am tearing up but i hold it. She has this wonderful look on her like she is here to help me and not the other way around. She kisses me gently on the cheek and i let a tear slip down my face. I feel the happiest i’ve been in months.
“I’m sorry Mom, i don’t feel quite myself today”. She says “Oh, don’t worry, i know. You never did like hospitals”.
For months, i had the same dream. I used to wake up in the middle of the night, my eyes tearing up. I couldn’t sleep afterwards. I just tried to hold on to the memory of my dream. I don’t dream anymore. If i do, i rarely recall. I say it’s for the best. But what do i know?