Do you ever wonder how well you stack up against other people? Looks-wise, I mean. I don’t mean famous people, just ordinary people who work with you or your friends? I was never one to really question my appearance. Growing up, i always did ok with girls so i never felt like i was anything else than super cute. But i wasn’t. Charming? Sure. But not cute, especially not super cute. I suppose i was 2 steps above ugly. I don’t know how that scale goes but it seems accurate. But early in my teens, a girl gave me the best advice i could’ve been given at the time: “it’s not about looks, it’s about how you carry yourself, the perception of confidence”. And i kept thinking “shit, i am ugly”.
But thankfully, i took that girl’s advice and eventually things turned out ok for me. Now, well, now i don’t really care about that. It still is nice to hear people complimenting you but it doesn’t really make a different to me. I was told the other day that my wife made a good investment in me, meaning i became better-looking with age. A fucking backhand compliment. Well, thank you. I’m still the same person i was 15 years ago. I have the same attitude, the same cockiness that women hate to love (well, some at least). I’m still a stupid kid at heart. That i don’t mind, i am what i am.
Many years before i started dating my wife, i was hanging out with a common friend. We went to a volleyball game and my future wife was playing. I think she must have been like 13, maybe 14. She was young-ish. So there i am with this friend i was hanging out with and my future sister-in-law was there too. So i go like” hey, is that your sister? yep. why? nothing. i mean,she grew! she was kind of a kid last time I saw her. yeah, she still is so…” Yeah, my future SIL knew me only too well. But that day, without thinking anything else about it and just being honest, i said to her “your sister may be the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen”.
I was telling the truth, this girl was amazing. A tall, scrawny young girl that had more poise than anyone i’d come across. So cute. Years would go by before we even got to become friends. I never, in a million years, imagined that i would eventually date her and marry her. But to my credit, before we even got to be friends, i knew she was the most beautiful girl i had laid my eyes on. I married a beautiful woman, she married a so-so charming man. Turns out women like those too. Thankfully.
It is okay if you’re a so-so guy. I am. Be comfortable with it and you’ll manage eventually. Carry yourself with confidence. People will know your name before you get to know theirs. Beauty never belonged to you, it belongs to the beholder. Beauty exists merely in the mind which contemplates them ( i read this line somewhere and fits perfectly here). But shit, if you’re handsome, i’m pretty fucking sure it makes your life a little bit more interesting!
I recently had a talk with a friend about how well we stack up against our work colleagues. I told my opinion and got told theirs. I got worried, i must work with the ugliest fucks this company could choose. I got top spot! But who cares, i’ll take it. A victory for the so-so guys! Upon hearing that, I still maintain what i said, 9/10 only because i believe there needs to be space for improvement. Other than that, perfection!