Less weight to carry.

I came across a nice quote on instagram used for the most stupid reason. It sounded familiar so i googled it. It comes from a book, a book i’ve never read but became interested. So i did something that i never do, i read some reviews. Oh, they weren’t nice. At all. But amongst the many things said about it, i found the following:

“But yes, love as cancer holds up quite well. Something that grows inside of you against your will and without your consent, slowly taking over more and more vital parts until it kills you.”

This, i think, is a direct quote from the book. And, as much as i’d like to disagree, it makes sense. You see, love indeed kills you. If not literally, love will kill the person that you were before you fell in love. Love makes people stupid. In a good way, but it does. It makes you take decisions that you would never take otherwise. I’m not a cynic, truly, i am not. But love does take its toll on people. Very much like a cancer, it will spread through you. And eventually you’re fucked. So yes, love as cancer holds up quite well.

I think it’s amazing the rep love gets. Everyone says marvelous things about love. But they forget to add a word that makes all the difference: reciprocal. Reciprocal love is amazing. It truly is. It is unique, no other emotion gets closer to having the same impact on anyone. It makes people happy for no reason at all, it makes people more understanding of their surroundings. But unrequited love, love’s ugly sibling, is fucked up. It drags you through hell and back if you’re lucky. It makes you second guess who you are, it makes you wonder what in this blue Earth did you do to deserve this. Unrequited love is pain in disguise. It will slap you silly till you have no common sense at all.

But see, i’m not a cynic dude. I believe in love. I’ve been in love and am still in love. The type of love that molds you and you also get to mold. It changes you for the better, i suppose. You get to adapt as times goes by but still, i have faith in love. It damn sure doesn’t overcome everything as people will try to make you believe. But love, the reciprocal kind, is necessary to allow you to grow. It gives you perspective. I no longer know everything like i thought i did. We never imagine things to deteriorate at the rate that they do. And then, one day, it hits you. I don’t even know how to explain it, to put it in words. You just become sort of lost, i suppose.

This has very little to do with love in a romantic sense. But it made me think about all types of love. It comes after a little scuffle i had with someone who i love, that it is supposed to love me back unconditionally and I guess it is just hard to see that nowadays. I may be to blame as well but still, the responsibility is not on my side. One day this will end. There is no love that lasts forever unless you’re prepared to do it one-way. And i guess i’m just not that kind of guy. And since we’re too much alike, neither is the other person.

The day will come when everything will be forgotten. Unfortunately, too much damage has been done for it to be forgiven.


Santiago Roque.


PS – This one is an “off my chest” type of thing. I need those to be out there too. So apologies if it is a downer. But it is still me.



Author: santiago roque

I can predict the future. If given the right topic. Often confusing, i am mostly me on emotional steroids.

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