I thought i had coined this term to describe myself nowadays but a quick search on google proved me wrong. There is this one website that basically destroys the theories behind the reasons for atheists to exist. I found it extremely funny. For example:
That is funny! I don’t mind reading about or having people explain their reasons why they believe in an entity that has yet to prove it actually exists. I won’t mess with their faith, but religion is another thing. I can choose to believe the Earth is flat. It is my right to believe in what i want to. I’d be wrong. Why? There multiple example of evidence that prove otherwise. The same goes for God. It is a fact. Don’t go hating on me.
I’m a big fan of Baby Jesus, i like him. He was probably the first case of bullying. Can you imagine kids messing with him? “Dude, you mom is a virgin. Ahah. You don’t even know your dad, you mud faced jew!” That’s horrible, right? Grown up Jesus i like too. He would be cool to hang around. So debateful and peaceful. I would just alert him for that Judas character. Everything was dandy until that jealous bearded fuck ruined everyone’s chilling spot by blabbing to Pilates (not the gym one) about a guy who claimed to be the son of God. Well, i hope my son sees me as a god too. Fuck yeah. That’s proper education right there!
Now, my problem is with Resurrection Jesus. So we’re to believe that after 3 days, Jesus rose from the dead. Define dead because i’ve had hangovers last a full week. So i’m just saying, a guy known for turning water into wine would be pretty wild at drinking. At 33, it takes a fucking long time to recover from a night of partying. Just laying the facts. It seems plausible that someone jumped to a conclusion and declared him dead. He might have been just way too wasted to show lifelike signs. But shit, we all been there, right? Anyway, so God does some magic and resurrects his boy. Fine. I’ll play along. But this happened 2 millennia ago. Since then, not a single soul was resurrected by the mighty bearded fellow. Yes, we will read about a “miracle” here and there but no waking up from the dead.
To quote the late Patrice O’neal,
” I believe in God when i’m on planes. I’ll do a side deal with God. I’ll look around and see and old lady struggling to put her bag on the overhead compartment and i give her a hand and i’m like ” See God, look at what a good guy i am, helping this old lady with her stuff. You’re not gonna let the plane crash right, ’cause i’m a good person”. So when the plane lands, the lady looks at me like i’m supposed to help her with her bags and i’m like “Do it yourself, you selfish bitch. I kept the plane from falling this entire time”
That is me in a nutshell basically. I consider myself, at least at the moment, a hypocritical atheist. But i will say things that a proper atheist wouldn’t say like “thank god” or ” i feel blessed”. So, hypocritical? Yes. Atheist? We getting there. Or not.