As i write this, and to my knowledge, a friend hasn’t yet given birth to her second son. She messaged me today saying she was already over at the hospital, i told her to hold on, 24th seems a much more interesting day to be born. It is a boy and when she told me i suggested a name. She politely declined. And she calls herself my friend. Right…

Anyway, she had me thinking about kids. With my age, my parents already had three, me and my sisters brother and sister (sometimes i forget one of them isn’t a girl). Different times. I’m not prepared at all but i don’t think anyone is. The thing is, i don’t particularly like kids. It sounds horrible but it is true. I’m not the type of person that enjoys a kids company. I mean, i have cousins and friends with small kids and that’s fine. I just avoid them. I have a godson too but he lives far way which is sad (no, it isn’t) and i hope we could be together more often (not really). Well, in my defense, when they asked me to be the godfather, i told them i wasn’t the best choice. They insisted, that shit is on them, not me!

But yes, i am eager to have a kid of my own. Meaning, my wife is. But that is cool. I can teach him or her to be just like me and that will teach my wife. Yeah, you wanted a angel, you’ll get a devil, baby! Or not. I’m guessing i’ll become one of those people that hated kids and then becomes a father and starts crying every time they see a baby with those cute adidas superstars. That sounds plausible. I will finally become a man. Ironically.

Concerning names, i don’t think i’ll have an choice in that matter. I mean, i’ve suggested a few but the wife seems to veto every single one. We came to an agreement if we ever have a girl i think but i’m secretly hoping for a boy so that i can call him Voldemort. That’s right, Voldemort. He’ll be famous instantly and the other kids will fear him. Imagine him running around class, just causing chaos and the teacher tells him to behave and just be good and he’s like “There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.” Man, how cool would that be? Of course, i would have to invest time and read the Harry Potter series to him as a baby but just the Voldemort bits so that he subconsciously knew all of the rebukes. Voldemort but with a nose. And less homicidal. But only if possible. I’ll settle for the nose only, though.

Voldemort, dad is waiting for you.

Santiago Roque.


PS – My friend texted me early in the morning. He was indeed born on the 24th. You chose well, little one. Congrats.

Author: santiago roque

I can predict the future. If given the right topic. Often confusing, i am mostly me on emotional steroids.

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